The latest home neatness craze — organizing, paying homage to and getting rid of stuff in need of long overdue disposal, has swept through like the Santa Ana winds. Forget about decluttering the house — what about that mind-clutter that holds your well-being, sleep and confidence hostage? Let me tell you why, first and foremost, there is much value in having a decluttered mind.
A decluttered mind is efficient. A decluttered mind is confident. A decluttered mind is balanced and expansive with plenty of room for the drive and motivation to overcome obstacles. Practiced by elite athletes (Tiger Wood’s most recent Master’s win comes to mind), it is the hallmark of internal discipline, self-knowledge and power. A decluttered mind elicits a sense of well-being and drives everything you do, how competently you do it, how you feel about what you do and clarifies your level of control over the outcome.
A cluttered mind, at the opposite end of the continuum (best viewed as a continuum that allows for individual differences) is where confusion, panic and disarray are stored. It overflows with life-stuff strewn every which way, piled up knee deep and begging for attention. It is where un-swept anxieties and worriers linger impacting sleep, relationships, levels of contentment and performance.
In the following steps, I will outline a few ways to achieve a focused, deliberate and strategic mindset that can help navigate the daily detritus of ought- to’s, need-to’s and didn’t-get-a-chance-to’s — thoughts that clutter our minds and raise levels of fear, dread and apprehension.
Step 1. Avoid the freak out! Don’t zero in on everything in your “mind’s storage space” where it’s easy to focus on the infinite things that need to be done or will need to be done, have happened or will happen. In other words, be laser focused in the moment and know when to be your own best advocate.
When 911 happened (seems like a century ago), I was driving to a meeting for which I was quite late. Deciding to ditch the meeting, I turned around and headed back to my school. No sooner had I set foot in the building when I was beseiged and frantically pulled aside and informed of the ongoing horror. Having driven without the radio on, I was unaware that disaster had struck. On a hastily placed monitor, I then witnessed the second plane crashing into the World Trade Center. Following my gut, I quickly left to a nearby empty room to collect myself — to corral the jumble of thoughts racing through my brain. This allowed me to tame the adrenalin, make sense of what had just happened and to be laser-focused on the challenges ahead. Had I succumbed to fear, anxiety or panic, as the school’s only Counselor, I would not have been much help to anyone. I took the time to be my own best advocate — much like the instructions given when flying on a plane with small children: put your breathing mask on first, then help others.
In times of crisis or challenging situations, our thoughts can become entangled, overwhelming and confusing. Allow yourself time to reorder your thoughts — let the adrenalin settle, then prioritize and organize what needs to be done. Then do it.
Step 2. Just breathe. Take a moment or two to center yourself and focus only on your breathing. If it helps, watch the rise and fall of your chest as you breathe. Deep breathing elicits a relaxed state of being which helps to tidy up and re-focus the mind.
Step 3. Do some sorting. Prioritize. Make a mental or actual list. For any given day, there are multiple tasks that need to be done. Some are far more important than others. When possible, do the most important tasks first, relegate some to the back burner (I refer to it as the recycle bin) to be revisited at an appointed time.
Step 4. Learn to compartmentalize. Practice mental discipline. This means to find a place to put things (worries/ought-to’s, etc.) or remove them to the recycle bin (try a worry doll).
Step 5. Be in the moment. WTF does that even mean? It means appreciating your existence as it is right now, focusing on what must be done within the next five minutes or next hour. Focus more on the present, much less on the future and even less on the past.
Step 6. Find Balance and Identify Perfect Moments. This is a companion to Step 5. A perfect moment is a feeling that occurs when recognizing the harmony and synchrony of your life in any given instance — no matter the situation (I’ve had instances of “perfect moments” when sitting next to a hospitalized parent). It means taking the time to focus on the balance and synchrony of mind, feeling, being, and connection to others. It facilitates singularity of thought and momentarily filters and focuses the mind providing a brief respite from mental messiness. Finding balance means allocating just the right amount of time and energy to take care of oneself, loved ones, other duties and responsibilities.
Step 7. Junk removal: If there is something that occupies space in your mind and you do not have control over the outcome, let it go. If possible, voice your opinion, provide your input, then discard it or relegate it to the large trash bin of your mind. Be sure to periodically empty it!
Step 8. Listen to your gut. If your gut tells you to put something aside — do it. If it tells you to do something now. Then do it as soon as you can. This helps to alleviate worry which can be the dreaded junk-drawer of our minds.
Step 9. Tame those nagging, persistent thoughts. Try as you might, there are some thoughts that are very messy and hard to control. Ever experienced the chaotic disarray of a seven-year old’s birthday party? Intrusive thoughts are similarly untidy and disorderly. If the issue is important, determine how much time you will allocate to thinking about it. If you have substantial control over the outcome, act on it — within a few minutes, an hour or within a stated timeframe. If the issue can wait, put it in the recycle bin — to be revisited when it can be re-tweaked and fully addressed. If you have no control over the outcome, the trash bin should be its new home.
Step 10. Give thanks. Not just for clothing, but for everything. Sincerely, deeply and truly mean it. In many societies, it is traditional to give thanks for food, clothing, life, death, family, friends, the natural world, etc. When was the last time you really gave thanks within the everyday realm of being? Doing so allows one to pause. For that moment, the mind is de-cluttered.
Bonus 1: Ask the ancestors/universe to help guide you. This may seem odd to some, yet it can manifest positive results in meaningful ways. Pause and connect to whomever or whatever to benefit from a daily spiritual cleansing.
Bonus 2: Meditation and mindfulness have almost become faddish. When done properly, however, they force the mind to halt, to stop, to focus, clear and cleanse itself. It is the ultimate decluttering. Fads imply superficiality and are easily misused or fade after the hype subsides. Mindfulness and meditation are not fads that should be done once or twice weekly — like flaunting those little yoga mats on the way to the gym without giving a thought or understanding of the true meaning and reasoning behind the poses. The once-in-a-while meditation has little impact on easing a hoarder-like, overloaded and overwhelmed system. Aim to achieve a state of mindfulness and meditative focus at any given time, at any given moment — driving in rush hour traffic, before a business meeting or settling down before cooking a meal. Doing so helps to keep the cacophony and unnecessary trash of our thoughts at bay.
Bonus 3: Understand and embrace the natural world — not as something to be conquered or manipulated, but as a complement to our bodies — ourselves. When one purposely connects to the natural world, it allows for the mind to focus and the clutter becomes less prominent and chaotic.
Bonus 4: Let a joyful thought take over whenever possible. This means identifying experiences of wonder, fun and exhilaration, storing them in a strategic place so that they can be called upon for immediate or future use.
Bonus 5: Practice sleep discipline. Learn how to push aside and warehouse invasive thoughts before sleeping. Place them in their proper containers and tell your body, repeatedly, to go to sleep. If you need to, do deep breathing exercises to physically relax. Do the same if you wake up in the middle of the night.
Now that I’ve sufficiently decluttered my mind — let me tackle this mess of a house!
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Productivity Hub 