Learning to Live With Yourself

Because you never know when the next opportunity will come along

I’ve spent the better part of the last ten years telling myself that I’d do that goal “next year.” That I’d pursue a dream once I was a little more prepared. Assurances were made to relatives that I was about to do something great.

Spoiler: I never did.

I sit here now looking back at all the goals and ideas I didn’t go after because I was scared of sinking.

I didn’t pursue writing more aggressively because the thought of failure was terrifying.

There are boys I didn’t ask out, even when I thought there might be a spark, because I was sure that they would say no. The “what ifs” float through my head every once in a while.

The world map on my wall is conspicuously empty of pins, a nagging reminder of all the places I haven’t gone because I worried about traveling alone.

Don’t let these languishing thoughts happen to you. Vision boarding is useless if you don’t have the courage to grab life as it comes at you.

I wasn’t always this way. I once had the chance to write for a very popular web series. I was so excited that I moved to a new city. Scripts were written and meetings had, but in the end it fell through. I found myself aimless, jobless, and depressed, in a this new environment.

I became overly cautious. When god showed me an open door I closed it. I’d been down that road before, and didn’t want to end up doing all that work only to be left out in the cold.

And you know what? Some of those things I turned down led nowhere. But others did not. But windows don’t often open twice.

Regret is a terrible bedfellow.

Don’t overthink when something interesting comes knocking. Nothing will be handed to you and if you don’t take risks. Know that you will find yourself wondering, years later, where you might have been if you’d just gone with the first rule of improv and said, “Yes.”

I’m not saying get into a taxi with a strange person at 4am because they want to show you a cool party. Be smart, use your gut, but don’t let irrational fear stop you from pursuing, creating, or being vulnerable in love.

Tea leaves and other forms of divination are not always accurate, so you’re in the same boat as everyone else. None of us are sure that our efforts will pay off.

Even if your venture fails you’ll still have an experience worth remembering, a lesson that you’ve learned.