Stop Looking for Everyone Else’s Advice

When we constantly look for other people’s advice we fail to develop our own abilities, unique voice and way of doing things.

You have an enormous wealth of tools within yourself to use on your pathway to success. Your mind processes new information you come across then rolls it around and compares it to your own perspective, your ideals, opinions and beliefs based on your experiences. That’s why you have a skull. It allows all this activity to go on without letting new material that becomes available to help you grow escape or leak out before you can make use of it. You also have your gut which is the partner of your mind and operates on a subconscious level.

As your mind is trying to make sense of things, your gut jumps in and says, “Yep, I think that’s the way,” or “Not a chance in hell it works like that.” Sometimes your gut may remain quiet, letting the mind do it’s thing until it’s done. Your gut may then take a look at what your mind has arrived at, turn it over, consider it from different sides then conclude, “Uh, I’m not sure, but something doesn’t feel right about that.”

Listening to Others: The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

Even when you’re not out looking for it, people will generously offer their sage advice. But whether it’s solicited or not, as an entrepreneur you need to be very aware of how you process and what you do with other people’s advice. A lot of this will depend on how you view yourself and your prospects for the future. If you believe that everyone else must know better than you it will be tough not to try to adopt all the advice that comes your way, good, bad or ugly. And make no mistake about it, while there may be a lot of good advice you come across, there is also the bad and the ugly. Bad advice just doesn’t get you where you want to go. Ugly advice takes you in the opposite direction from where you want to go.

As I’ve mentioned in other places, there is not a one-size-fits-all approach to achieving success. If you doubt your abilities to the point that you are will try out whatever advice you come across that promises success without letting your mind and your gut have a say, this is the bad. Since you have not personalized it based on your own characteristics and ways of doing things it is unlikely to get you where you want to go.

The assumption that if someone else has arrived at the level of success you are striving for, whether that’s fame, fortune or a combination of the two, that must means that they did it the right way amounts to the ugly. This is because you assume that they are King of the world while you are a peasant and therefore if you can’t make their way work for you it has to be your fault.

When you start assigning blame to yourself it leads down “Helplessness Road,” which turns off onto “Hopelessness Way.” And once you are there, it’s like Hotel California. You may keep trying to find your way off that street, but no matter which way you turn you see the same darn street sign.

Regardless of how well something may have worked for someone else, not everything is relevant to you. Some things actually can harm your potential achievements, especially if it goes against what your gut is telling you.

Two Sets of Footprints

No two paths to success are exactly the same so don’t try to walk in someone’s footsteps. When you do this you will always have to walk behind them which means never being perceived as the one with the original ideas. It also makes it harder for you to come up with original ideas since you can’t help but see what the other person is doing which will influence. Plus, when you try to take someone else’s path while you may seem to save time in the short run since they’ve already cleared the way, in the long run you will not have learned to trust your own abilities.

If you come across a piece of advice that seems to align with your goals, beliefs, opinions, way of functioning, skills and preferences by all means follow it. Otherwise, forget it and find your own way, the one that gives you the best chance of succeeding at your goals. Don’t worry about what others are doing or presenting that might be getting attention. Coming up with something that is based on your perspective and which is genuine means you will not have to be concerned about competitors.

Others are not you. They don’t have your mind, your creativity, your ingenuity, your perceptions, your experience, your background or your unique way of viewing and interacting with the world.

There’s Nothing New So Tell It Your Way

There’s a reason the song, “I Did It My Way,” has been popular since it was first written. We all strive to not just succeed but to succeed our way. We want to be able to take the credit for our accomplishments. Achieving our goals and our dreams only really means something when our efforts are based on what is within us.

Even when we are sure that what we managed to accomplish is what we truly wanted, when we make a habit doing things because others tell us to, we often come to realize that we were chasing their dreams as well, and have lost site of our own. When we do it our way, no matter how much we may initially struggle, we know that when we succeed, whatever that success looks like, it came from us.

They say there is nothing new under the sun. They also say there are only seven plots in the whole world which are recycled again and again. Yet obviously people find new ways of doing things and new ways of telling stories every day. The entertainment industry is thriving and theater is making a record profit. If they can do it so can you. It just means being brave enough to resist turning to what you find on the internet, in books, on podcasts or other sources that are records of what’s already been done or said. It’s up to you to do it differently, to say it differently. When it comes from the heart and from the real you, it will resonate with others.

“What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun.”

Make Yourself Your Own Competition

Instead of worrying about who might be competing with you worry about competing with yourself. Determine what story you intend to tell with your life, your career, your relationships then strive to find a better way to do it each day. In this way, you will be able to create something truly original that others will perceive as genuine and that is what leads to becoming successful.

When others feel that you are being real about what it is you creating, it will come across as something of value. This will make, them want to take part in it in some way, leading to a sense of accomplishment that motivates you to continue down your own personal path and develop your unique approach. This will ultimately allow you to keep moving onto bigger and better things. And it will keep you from ever driving down those dark, lonely roads ever again.