How I overcame my fear of being visible

Nowadays you would see me boldly stride into the gym head held high and headed towards the weight section. As I complete my squats in full visibility, I would occasionally grunt out loud if need be.

This is far from the case when I first joined the gym three years ago.

Like a mouse I would scuttle away into the women section conscious about all eyes being on me.

I found safety in the scrutiny of other women’s gazes perhaps because deep down I knew that we were all united by our insecurities. Most women will at some point in their life experience a level of discomfort with their bodies.

I was in safe company.

The glares of the men in the gym on the other hand, always felt judgemental. As if they were all weighing me up on the desirability scale and in my head they likely concluded that I was too everything- thin, muscular or broad shouldered.

This is the curse of consciousness. In the preoccupation with oneself, common-sense and sounds judgement goes out of the window. You become your inner judge and jury. And you reach a guilty verdict every time.

Unmasking my insecurities

My insecurities were based on my critical inner voice which subsequently fuelled destructive thoughts. Albeit being slim all my life, I went through a phase during my teenage years where I was convinced that I was fat. Striving to fit in with unrealistic images on TV and magazines thus distorted my perception of what I look like.

What we fail to recognise is that insecurities, if not properly addressed can channel themselves into other areas. A poor body image causes you to be excessively self-conscious as you feel an overwhelming sense of shame whenever you look at yourself. Hence being too self-aware that others are also judging us on how we look.

Being stuck in this negative state of mind held me back from putting myself out there and attempting the things that I had dreamt of.

What changed

Setting up my business three years ago was the turning point. I realised that it’s success heavily hinged upon my ability to operate at a much higher level. Overall it required that I challenge my insecurities, self-consciousness, and uncertainties. I needed to become bolder and where else to develop this than in a room constantly filled with strangers.

It was in this very environment that I chose to overcome my issues and thus prepare myself for everything entrepreneurship would bring my way.

Embarking on Mini Experiments

a) To become comfortable with visibility
I think most of us are afraid of being seen because it exposes us to the potential criticism and judgement of others.
Just like the sense of security you might get from exercising in a small corner at the gym, you would likely avoid the negative aspects of being in the public arena if you stay truly hidden. If you hold back from exposing your creativity, speaking your truth or even sharing your ideas at work… then you can remain in a safe bubble.

b)To let go of my inhibitions
With the tendency to overthink and over-analyse everything, I suppressed my carefree side and avoided doing the things that I really wanted. For example I love doing burpees but I had previously reasoned that people would think that I was mad throwing myself around. Furthermore, I would be mad to quit my job and go backpacking. To stay in hostels and share a room with strangers. To risk a stable salary to set up my own business. Mad enough to think I could make it a success. Mad enough to think anyone would want to read my articles. Watch me speaking on Youtube.

Yup! Definitely mad but having so much fun.

Conclusion

I was catching up with a few colleagues last Sunday and the topic of ‘insecurities’ came up. They were all impressed with my boldness and made comments about wishing they could be more like me.

I had to remind them it is not as if I enjoy being outside of my comfort zone, but I do it because it is pivotal to my growth and achieving my dreams.

Boldness is available to anyone who is willing to put in the work.

And quite often we think that we must first become fearless in other to attempt great feats. But what I know is that you become fearless as you go.