Practicing Silence.

Mastering the ability to listen before speaking.

To truly understand, practicing silence is a beneficial tool.

There’s wisdom in Mario Puzo’s epic-gangster novel “The Godfather”, with the classic Francis Ford Coppola’s masterfully crafted film which complements it.

Vito Corleone often passes judgement on his son for being hot-tempered and reacting without thinking first, a judgement that ends up costing Sunny his life.

“Never let anyone outside the family know what you’re thinking”

As chilling as it is of how the dialogue echoes through out the movie, proving to be a tactic which allows the family to gain more knowledge about their enemies by practicing patience and silence.

It isn’t much of a stretch that the rule does in-fact apply to real life and practicality.

I started observing silence, because I no longer felt the urge to voice my opinion only to sound like the smartest guy in the room.

Neither was I using it as a tool to garner the attention of the people surrounding me.

It was simply to observe how people react to one another, learning their patterns and how they react.

I find it easier to write my opinions, because it allows me a moment of clarity and self reflection.

There isn’t any harm in voicing one’s opinion, we know it to be true that it’s a powerful tool when employed with eloquence.

But shouting at the top of lungs has hardly ever been the cure to a problem, much rather be a solution to it.

I’ve encountered many situations where the people first to present a problem are the last to provide a solution to it.

I’d rather sit-back and view the matter with more clarity and understanding, before jumping the gun to be “First”.

Back in the day, at university — when I used to be the go-to person for approaching people at a conference; I learnt my lesson pretty quickly from people I was trying to impress.

They could see right through my attempts at proving I was smart enough to hold a conversation.

It took a lot more patience to absorb my urge to speak and interrupt, and listen.

In Corporate Strategy, I’ve found the tool to be quite insightful — people give away more information than they’d like to.

Nodding and Smiling, shows eloquence and respect for the individual — even if I do not agree with them completely, I have to pay them the respect to voice their opinion in a way that it is not deemed demeaning.

I listen to complaints with patience, even criticism.

Because it’s easier to tell the other person to “Shut up, you know nothing” rather than sit through a conversation and truly absorb the matter at hand.

Larry King, is in my opinion one of the greatest interviewers, his approach is simple and delightful.

He approaches his subjects with as little knowledge as possible and often doesn’t do research — there’s a lack of planned questions and a list of topics to cover.

He just listens and reflects.

Out of which, an openness develops for the subjects to feel safe and for a moment — forget there are cameras around.

Silence isn’t easy, I often want to shout and say things, but I know if I do I’ll later regret them.

If I listen, I learn, and can grow from that.

Rather than being dismissive, I can keep an open mind about a subject matter I might have disagreed with.

There have been occasions where I have changed my mind completely because I listened, not because I fell for the charm and charisma of the speaker; but rather had the will to research what they said and came to an understanding.

It’s difficult to listen to a person who is shouting at you, but at the same time nothing makes people more uncomfortable when they see they cannot get a reaction out of you.

Not giving away a hunch of how uncomfortable I might have felt.

It’s a song that has been sung many times, just that we’re unable to keep up with the tempo of it.

I try to, but I do fail.

Meditation and calming my noisy brain allows me to do so.

If the person is failing to make sense and it’s an endless rant, I can easily shut off — turn the volume off.

Instead go to my happy place and wait for the rant to be over.

When the person is exhausted and has run out of fumes — I can be the calming wisdom of, “Would you like some water?”

Only to have them restart their rant.

It’s fun, none the less, even if there is nothing to be gained.

I know I haven’t made a fool of myself.

I know I haven’t given away anything.

I haven’t revealed too much.